


mostly, I want to be kind.

by spacestationtrustfund



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Bathing/Washing, Families of Choice, Finn deserves good things, Fluff, Gen, Hugs, Identity, Kindness, Sharing a Bed, Socks, Trauma, self-care
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:22:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22154719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacestationtrustfund/pseuds/spacestationtrustfund
Summary: Finn changes his clothes, takes a shower, and gets a hug.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 24
Kudos: 400





	mostly, I want to be kind.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Alexicon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexicon/gifts).



> Title from [Dogfish](https://www.best-poems.net/mary_oliver/dogfish.html) by Mary Oliver. For [Alex](https://lexiconallie.tumblr.com), who said Finn deserved soft things. (See! I _can_ write fluff! I just... find it uncomfortable!)
> 
> I know nothing about the Star Wars EU; we’re just kind of doing our own thing over here.

Nobody really knew what to do with Finn after he woke up, and nobody wanted to go bother General Organa over something so inconsequential. The doctors discharged him from the makeshift med centre after a few hours, but word had already spread throughout the rebel base, and that, coupled with the fact that no one had bothered to provide him with new clothes or clean his old ones, led to copious pointing and murmuring.

In the end, mercifully, Poe offered to share his quarters. With Rey busy day and night training and meeting and whatnot, Poe was the closest thing Finn had to a friend.

“Of course we’re friends,” Poe said, when Finn asked. “What kind of asshole’d I be if I wasn’t nice to the guy who saved my life?”

“Oh,” Finn said, pleased. He liked when Poe was nice to him, too.

Sharing Poe’s quarters apparently meant letting Poe fetch things for him when Finn admitted he didn’t have extra clothes, or sleepwear, or anything else. “What did you sleep in?” Poe asked, after Finn had shamefacedly admitted this.

Finn fidgeted. “We didn’t—we slept in—”

He didn’t know how to explain the cryo pods, but thankfully Poe seemed to get it. “It’s all right,” Poe said, clapping Finn on the shoulder. “Just means you get to pick out new things. I’ll go grab some PJs—want to come with me?”

Finn was tired of people staring and whispering, so he said, “I think maybe I’ll just stay in here, if that's okay,” which Poe said it was.

He spent the time he was waiting for Poe exploring. It was really only enough space for a bed, small table, and pack (presumably Poe’s, which he didn’t open and snoop through). After thoroughly exploring each centimetre of the room, Finn sat and peeled his boots off, grimacing at the large clumps of dirt that fell out, along with a pile of Jakku sand. His feet weren’t in a great state either; he was still morosely staring at the sand grains underneath his toenails when Poe returned with several packages.

“First of all, I’d like to apologise,” Poe said, before Finn could say anything, dumping the packages on the bed. “Because I didn’t _just_ go grab you some PJs—I also nabbed a few other essentials I thought you’d like, but if they’re not your style, we can return ’em, okay?”

Finn didn’t really _have_ a style—there wasn’t much room for individuality when everyone dressed identically—but he appreciated the thought.

The first package contained socks and underwear. “Oh,” said Finn, surprised. He hadn’t even thought about undergarments.

The fabric was very soft. He couldn’t stop touching it, running his fingers over the surface to feel the texture.

Poe was blushing, for some reason. He cleared his throat. “I thought,” he said. “You would, uh. Did anyone tell you where the showers are?”

Finn frowned. “No?”

“I’ll show you, don’t worry about it,” Poe said. “Do you wanna shower now, and try on clothes? Open the rest!”

The rest of the packages turned out to contain a new undershirt, trousers, sweater, and a long robe-like outfit that he couldn’t figure out what to do with. Finn held it up, frowning; it was nearly as long as he was tall.

“That’s uh, that’s sleepwear,” Poe interjected. “There are ties in the front, see—”

It was also very soft. Finn worried at first that he would tear the fabric with his calluses, but it was strong, and only yielded a little when he tugged on it.

Poe’s expression was soft and open when Finn looked back at him. “A shower would be nice,” Finn hedged.

“I’ll walk you there,” Poe said, grinning, and it was Finn’s turn to blush. When Poe grinned like that, his whole face lit up like a beacon.

The showers were not the cleaning capsules he was used to. They had a recycling system that purified and recycled the water. “The water isn’t that hot,” Poe said apologetically, but Finn would've preferred cold water anyway. He could still remember Jakku.

Poe had told him that he was allowed twenty minutes in the shower before the water would automatically shut off to conserve energy on the base, so he had to be—quick? He wasn’t really sure how long a normal shower would take. The cleaning capsules had only taken a few seconds: he would walk into the chamber, the door would swish shut, and the rays of radiation would slough off the grime. The whole thing would usually take maybe half a minute or so, but then again, he hadn’t tried the water method.

The water was, as promised, extremely cold. Finn stripped off his old clothes, folded them, took a deep breath, and stepped under the spray.

There was a curtain surrounding the little area, presumably for privacy. The concept of privacy was something Finn was still adjusting to—there was no need when your superiors already knew everything about you, and had from before your birth.

The water felt nice on his bare skin. Finn looked down and saw that the eddys swirling around the drain were nearly black with the amount of dirt coming off him.

Probably the shower had been a good idea. He didn’t want Poe to think he didn’t know how to take care of himself.

There was a little row of buttons labelled with different symbols on them that he couldn’t read. Finn pushed one of them tentatively, and a small amount of clear liquid appeared.

It smelled nice.

Finn rubbed it on his hands, thinking. Soap, probably? He’d used soap before, to clean off machinery that the laser cleaners couldn’t quite get to. Using it on his body was new, though.

The soap turned out to be thoroughly enjoyable. Finn thought he could _feel_ a layer of his skin being scraped off along with the dirt going down the drain. He’d been picking at the torn skin around his calluses ever since he’d woken up, but this was different.

Even though he’d been expecting it, Finn was still surprised when the water shut off. He realised abruptly that he was cold.

The sleepwear Poe had got for him was deliciously smooth against his freshly scrubbed skin. And it was warm, and soft, and the sleeves were long enough that they trailed down to the tips of his fingers, even when he stretched his arms out wide. He was still enthralled with the texture of the material—it was so comfortable. It didn’t feel real. This was something he was allowed to have _all the time_.

“There you are,” Poe said jovially, when Finn finally found his way back. “I thought a wild acklay had jumped you—I was ready to ask General Organa for a search party.”

Finn blushed. “That'd be unnecessary,” he mumbled.

Poe must have seen the way he was feeling on his face, because he jumped up and set his hands on Finn’s shoulders. “Hey,” he said gently, “hey, it was just a joke, okay? I wouldn’t really do that. Sure, I worry about you, but I think you can handle yourself against the shower, yeah?”

Finn ducked his head, embarrassed. “I don’t know if General Organa likes me,” he admitted into Poe’s shoulder.

“Sure she does,” Poe said firmly. He pulled Finn closer, until they were properly hugging. “How could anyone _not_ like you? Buddy, she likes you, I promise. She’s stern sometimes, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t care.”

“ _You_ like me,” Finn said.

“I sure do,” said Poe. “I’m on your side, buddy. And as long as General Organa thinks you’re great, I’ll be on hers, too.”

“She likes you,” Finn said, feeling mutinous.

“Well, yeah. That’s because I don’t listen to her,” said Poe. “She likes when we have our own opinions on how to do things, as long as they don’t completely fuck up what she’s going for.”

Finn nodded. “Okay,” he said.

He was still cold from the shower, but the sleepwear Poe had given him was warm and soft, and Poe was warm too. He was still hugging Finn, arms wrapped firmly around Finn’s back. It all felt nice, so nice that Finn thought about crying from how nice it was, then buried his face in Poe’s shirt so he wouldn’t.

“I want to try on the other clothes,” he started, then was cut off by an enormous yawn.

Poe patted his back. “You wanna go to bed first? You look like you could use some shuteye.”

“I just woke up from—from a _coma_ , I shouldn’t feel so _tired_ —”

“Your body’s still recovering,” Poe said gently. “It’s okay to need a lot of sleep. That’s the fastest way to heal.”

Finn didn’t say anything about bacta chambers or rejuvenating IVs or the little grey pills he’d had to take twice a day to keep his immune system from doing anything undesirable. Instead, he leaned his head on Poe’s shoulder and let himself be settled carefully on the soft mattress. He wanted to tell Poe about the little buttons in the shower, and ask if anyone had seen what Rey was doing, but when he closed his eyes, he fell asleep almost immediately.


End file.
